Please, stop.

I look at him and he nods: he's always nodding, saying "I won't let you go". I'm starting to feel his scary look on my shoulder. He's so similar to me, like a tail of me. Years of psychologists and that part of me that sees me in the distance still can't let go. 

That part that is no longer us, that pretended to be but never was. 

The worst part is that I loved us, but love is never enough. You cannot make a living out of love. Then again, there's never enough love to make someone stay. There's never enough sex either (everyone knows that).

He's always looking at me when I'm in front of the mirror, challenging me to find new ways to discuss shallow topics with him (the same shallow issues we've found as rocks in our path).

It's like a nightmare. Suddenly they turn out to be snakes constantly filling my body with poison. He's the biggest snake I've ever seen, and the greatest part is that he's as big as the mirror.

I'm tired of him complaining. I'm full of shit, I know. You don't need to remind me every three seconds. Maybe I should just listen to my psychologist and make a sole ritual to lose and forget you. I should bear no longer dead memories in my heart. 

I guess my heart isn't tired enough to stop making my cells breathe. Then again, I'm not hating him, but thanking him. Everybody is telling me to stop making him feel special and starting to make him bad. I couldn't stand it, but there were so many people... and he was making me the same questioning my pain. Sometimes I wonder if he really had any feelings for me because I cannot understand how can he feel so angry when I tell him I cannot stand seeing him...

It's not a scene. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck everyone.

He sees me and smiles with that creepy look, but I know he's just trying to think of any new ways to screw me off. I can feel it. He's still there on the stairs... He's still there in my dreams... He's still there waiting to come back and see what has become of me.

I'm not ready. I need a lot of time. I need to go. I need to fill my heart with love, I cannot stand any more minutes without the proper love in my heart. 

Please, be kind to me. The last one almost kills me.

I cannot see myself in the mirror anymore. I'm frightened. I know he's there, I have no doubts that he's hiding. Waiting to come out.

The moment I see him, I'm dead. I'm too happy being able to laugh, I wanna stay here, please. Let me stay here for two or three more seconds. And then do as you please.

How long, how long... Then again... And again... And Stop.